I’m Not Ready

ONE WEEK!! The boys turn 1 in ONE WEEK! I’m not ready. The first year was hard. I’m not gonna lie about that. We spent almost half of it in the NICU. I feel like we kinda missed part of the first year. It’s been a wonderful, scary, long ride to say the least. But I’m not ready for the first year to be over. So basically it’s not happening in my mind. They can stay babies forever right? I want them to stay little! I’ve noticed that people refer to their babies as toddlers once they turn 1. I won’t be doing that. My babies will still be babies.

I’m in denial. And I’m kinda freaking out a little. Ok actually I’m freaking out a lot. The other night I had some bad anxiety over this! Like heart racing, chest tightening, couldn’t sleep anxiety. Maybe I need to start drinking more . . . . I don’t know what’s happening to me! Brian doesn’t get it. Last night I asked him “can you believe they’re turning 1 next week?” His response . . . “Yes. It’s been 12 months. They’re turning 1.” So rational. So missing the point. They’re still babies. They can’t turn 1!
I guess it’s happening whether I like it or not though. Yesterday we had our 1 year photo session. I can’t wait to see the pictures! I was so busy wrangling 3 babies that I didn’t get ANY pictures!  Our photographer took 1 picture with her phone of the cakes without babies. Here’s a teaser!
Oh and Brian took a 9 second video of the beginning of the cake smash. And I screen shotted this from the video!
So, as you can see, the boys had their first cakes yesterday. I’m pretty sure they aren’t related to me though because they didn’t like it! Seriously! CAKE! They were the cutest little cakes though! I special ordered dairy free, egg free cakes from Dempsey Bakery just for these little guys (because James has a milk protein intolerance and we haven’t introduced eggs yet)! Actually they were vegan chocolate cakes. CHOCOLATE!!! And they didn’t like it! My other child is clearly mine. She took a fork, dug a hole in the middle of a cake to get around the frosting (which was a little weird because it had no dairy), and ate the whole thing minus the frosting when we got home.
On the plus side, I did get to get a little crafty. You know, because I have lots of free time on my hands. I made first birthday party hats (which we almost forgot to put on them for pictures!) And I kinda made the banner. I ordered the paper and then I put it together. So I basically made it. Too bad Mason and Logan HATE the hats! They’re wearing them again for their party though. They’ll just have to deal with it.
Oh and I also escaped the other night and went to Target. And got coffee. And took a selfie. So it’s like a triple win! And I only spent $6.50 so it’s like Brian won too. And I’m sharing the selfie here so it’s really like everyone wins. You’re welcome.
No my non 1 year olds seriously are getting so big! We now have 2 mobile babies (Mason and James learned how to army crawl this week!) and 3 teeth (all Mason and all not next to each other). And we can go to restaurants and use high chairs! Mason seems to like sitting at the table like a big boy!
In other news, today was picture day for Addison at dance. And I was the dance super mom tonight. I took 3 girls to dance, with 3 boys in the Mann Van, and I played makeup artist for 3 10 year olds. No small feat. The goal is to do a smoky eye, but not make the 10 year olds look like prostitutes. I think I did a pretty good job!
So sassy
And I found this gem on my phone too:
And finally, it’s NBA Playoff time and the boys are supporting their team! Go Grizzlies!
If you need me next Wednesday, I’ll be hiding out pretending it’s Tuesday, April 28 and that my babies are not 1. (Or maybe I’ll be at work. Jack if you actually read this, I’ll be at work so no need to worry!) Maybe I’ll admit that they’re 1 in July, when they should turn 1. Or never.

2 thoughts on “I’m Not Ready

  1. LOL… I'm laughing & crying all at the same time. That first year was a doesy for us too & so hard to admit that your babies turn one 3 months before they were actually suppose to. My boys' birthday is the 28th, they also had a July due date. July 10th. It's killing me that mine are turning 4 & starting school this fall (I'm actually excited about school but still can't believe it's happening already) I'm loving this age though, they are so interesting & funny. They say things like “ah mannnn…” & “holy macaroni” <- no idea where they learned that one. They volunteer "I love yous" & have the craziest conversations amongst themselves. I can also now sit down at the playground while they play & not chase them everywhere, same goes for the beach & the pool. I'm trying to soak in the last few months of them being home full time with me, not gonna lie though I am so looking forward to a 3 hour break everyday!!! I'll probably spend the entire first week at the spa, lol...
    Happy first birthday to YOU & your boys 🙂


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