So here’s how we do it. Full disclosure. If you know me in person you probably won’t be surprised by most of these because, well, I’m kinda a mess.
I still do all the things I’ve always done, like trip over my own feet, run into walls, etc. I just do those things more often now.
Speaking of forgetting things, one day I forgot to put on my bra. And I had court that day. I was able to keep my jacket on all day and my secret was safe (except I told everyone because . . . full disclosure and it was too funny not to share). But I was able to hide the fact that I FORGOT TO WEAR A BRA and no one actually saw the evidence! Who does this? I’ve been wearing a bra since I was 11! (And no I definitely did not need one then)!
I probably take way too many pictures of babies. And I probably overshare. But I don’t care. Here’s one of my favorites from today.
Logan does not hold his own bottle. He prefers to play with it, even with the prop.
I make food for the babies but not the big people in my house. Good thing Brian can cook. We also eat a lot of Campbell’s soup.
I also wash clothes for the babies way more than I wash clothes for the big people. It’s a problem. One week I think I washed 10 loads of baby clothes and 0 loads of big people clothes.
The babies have to be in ABC order. All the time. (Except their swings, which are in the order they came home). Brian puts them in the van in the wrong order and claims that he doesn’t know the right order. He totally knows. I’m smarter than that.
Brian is in charge of making lunches. Sometimes he makes me a lunch. My favorite part is that he draws pictures on the napkin and sometimes on the bag. And more often than not he draws or writes something wildly inappropriate. This makes my day. It’s the little things. This is why we married each other right?
I fall asleep breastfeeding at least once a week. More when they boys were younger! Sometimes I’m just holding a sleeping baby and playing on my phone.
Speaking of breastfeeding, I’m still at it and Mason and Logan aren’t fans. I hear all these moms who say their babies won’t wean and they’re soooo attached. This is NOT my kids. They think it’s play time. It’s for me really at this point I think. Only a few more weeks until their first bday though so I can’t stop now!
Most of my undershirts have holes cut out from when I was pumping because who has time to stop everything and hold the pump? Not me. Hands free all they way. I even pumped while driving. Unfortunately now I’m left with holey undershirts. I was wearing one of said undershirts on the day I forgot my bra. Yep. Just when you thought the forgotten bra story couldn’t get better, it totally gets better.
I sort of like the pulse ox monitor. Crazy I know! But see the point above. It helps me know he’s alive.
We use our vacuum cleaner more to suck boogers than to clean floors. I’m not kidding. The tool part of our vacuum broke and Brian lasted about 1.5 days before he bought a new one. (See below for evidence). The actual floor vacuum part of the old one still works.
Logan has bitchy resting face. It’s hilarious. He probably got that from me. He’s really sweet I promise! (I’m a lost cause though). He’s also a pro at duck lips. Also hilarious.
I also have bitchy resting face. But I’m really kinda mean. Just not always when my face says so. I’m the nicest of my siblings but that means nothing.
I compare myself to others moms. Moms of triplets, twins and singletons (just 1 baby). I know everyone says don’t do this, but I do anyway. And it usually makes me feel better about myself! You should try it sometime. Start off with a low bar if you’re scared.
And last but definitely not least . . . I take lots of selfies for my own enjoyment. And I’m not kidding when I say a lot. Probably enough to put any preteen to shame. But unlike preteens I don’t post them on Facebook or Instagram (usually). I just send them to Brian and a few select friends. But today I’ll make an exception. Here are a few for your enjoyment.
|Yay! Selfie time!|
|Duck lips selfie – Logan’s duck lips are better!|
|Mason likes selfies too|
|James refused to look for this one|
|Of course this one LOVES selfies|
And the best selfie ever:
|Brian for real sent me this new vacuum cleaner selfie|